Fruits of the spirit: Gentleness and Self-Control

Gentleness and Self-Control: The last two fruits are Gentleness and self-control. I could talk about them separately but it makes more sense to put them together and here is why, the only way to maintain gentleness is to have self-control. The two are very closely intertwined and I don't believe you can have one without the other. Gentleness or it's Greek root praotes is more closely translated as meekness. The difference lies in the definition. Gentle is described as: kind, amiable, not rough or violent, while meek is defined as, humbly patient or docile under provocation. Which is what I believe was being written about because it goes right along with the definition of self-control or temperance , moderation or self-restraint in action, statement, etc. In order to be considered gentle we have to also have self-control.
I believe that isn't so much about something we put out there but how we react to what is already there. Here in lies the trouble, because I cannot think of one person who hasn't at one time or another reacted badly to a situation. Being "even tempered" is a big struggle for me. I like to describe myself as a passionate person. When I'm excited I'm loud, when I'm mad I'm louder. I find that when I don't talk daily with God and cultivate my relationship with him, I find it very hard to control even the smallest of reactions. Silly things that shouldn't bother me do and my mouth often gets away from me. Often I know it's right as soon as it comes out of my mouth but there is no way to take it back. The reading that I have done has convinced me I must cling to meekness and self-control with all my might because it could be my undoing. Meekness is not weak as some people would describe being gentle. There are plenty of people that see gentle and immediately thing pushover, or as my husband likes to call them tree-huggin' hippies. But In reality meekness is the stronger person. The person who even though they would like to rip your head off they give you a chance to speak. The person who has been listening to all your complaining and blaming and takes it with a smile. See it's much easier to just throw caution to the wind and hoot and holler till you fall down from exhaustion. In fact this kind of venting often feels good. It can make you feel powerful. Like you have the ability to make the world stop and look at you. Don't be seduced, it's a trap and a cycle that is hard to break.
I pride myself on being honest. I don't lie and I try not to pretend or ignore situations that I am uncomfortable with or bother me. This would be fine accept that my way of announcing my discomfort is often not well thought through. I have discovered this is the deal, If I fly off the handle when someone does me wrong then I'm wrong too. Now I have to apologize even though it was someone else who hurt me. It is not very Christ like for me to react in this way. It doesn't say I am an example that God would be proud to display as a Christian soldier. So as I read over this subject I am compelled to ask the holy spirit to bless me with divine meekness and self-control. I need to think and pray before I speak. I need to be mindful of how my body language is betraying my feelings. I need to calm down and decide how Christ would react in my situation. I want someone someday to say, she showed God's love and her commitment to him by her meekness. Her ability to perform under pressure. I don't want anyone to ever be afraid to approach me based on what they think my reaction might be. I don't want to be a volcano, an angry woman out for revenge. Ok that's a little dramatic but you know what I'm getting at.
Self-control is very important for another fact as well, its easy to misconstrue feelings. I had a conversation with my husband the other day where he told me that he was too tired to go somewhere with me because he was running on only 4 hours of sleep. I told him that was fine I would go by myself. Now if I had the self-control to control my actions ie, facial expression and tone of my voice, it wouldn't have been a big deal. Later he told me he didn't like to tell me things like that sometimes because he was worried about my reaction . Now I wasn't even mad. I was just disappointed because I was looking forward to spending time with him, but because of the way I reacted (not thinking first) It appeared to him that I was angry. I don't blame him for taking me wrong, it was obviously because of something I did but for the life of me I cant think of what it was. That is why self-control is so important. If I was in total control of myself I would know exactly what happened because I would have thought and prayed about what I was doing to begin with. Because I just reacted on the fly I don't even remember what my reaction really was. Small things like that can really hurt others. We have to be mindful of everything we portray because it maybe mistaken for something it's not. Now that might happen anyway but at least if you are in control of your own actions you will know that you did your best to do the right thing.
It is still one of my biggest stumbling blocks. but I'm going to keep trying because it matters to me. I am by no means going to become crazily compliant and let people run all over me but I can work on filling my actions and reactions with love and welding a gentle but firmly rooted personality to exemplify Christ.

Fruits of the spirit: Faithfulness

Faithfulness: To be faithful is to be steady in allegiance or affection. I believe it is the sticking with it no matter what. If we know God's promises how can we not be faithful? If we know all that God has promised faith should come with that. It is more complicated than that though. Faith is a vast subject. I'm glad I'm talking about it though because it gives me a chance to sport my favorite verse again. Ephesians 2:8-9 "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith, and this not from yourselves, it is a gift of God, not by works". Every time I read this verse it makes me smile. God's grace is what saves us. It has nothing to do with us. There is nothing I can do to cause or cancel my salvation because it is a gift. I take that as a relief. That is God professing his undying love. It's like someone saying to you I love you and there is nothing that could make me stop wanting you. AND HE MEANS IT. There is no questioning it. But there in lies the problem, do we know when our faith is failing?

I have heard several great sermons on faith. Some of it sticks with me and some of it doesn't. This to my best recollection is what I have come up with after reflection. Faith is a verb. You have to do something to be faithful. It's not just something you can be, you have to work it. It is hard work to remain constant. We defiantly need to ask God for his divine faithfulness because you know that we are basically lazy and anything we have to work for is going to be harder to attain. In order to be considered faithful we have to be thorough and strict in the performance of our duty. We cant slack, because we must adhere to the truth. The truth being God's word and his promises. Now If you know what God has promised why are you still doing those things? Why are you sinning? Why are you rejecting God by not following his laws and not spreading his message? It's because it's hard......and also because we lack faith. If you truly, truly, truly believed in everything that God has promised we could never continue disobeying. If you knew that by getting in a car with someone that was drunk you could be killed you wouldn't get into that car would you? In order to get in that car you would have to believe, or convince yourself that nothing would happen to you.
Here is the point of all of this. I never really had a healthy father figure in my life. It didn't used to bother me very much because I had an awesome mother who took up the slack amazingly. In fact to this day she is my hero because all the things she has accomplished must have seen impossible but she didn't say that, she said I've got to do it and with God's help I CAN. Anyway It didn't used to bother me but now I find it is making my faith harder to come by. Not that God wont give me his faith but that I have begun in my relationship with him to talk myself out of it. On the outside to me it seems fairly obvious that if I have faith I can move mountains, it says so in the bible and I believe it. Inside though it is a hard concept for me to master. That there is someone who will never leave me, never disappoint me, never forget about me. Its hard to understand in my heart that I can have the father I always wanted if only I will let him be that. Because of it I talk myself out of my own faith and it suffers. Seeing is believing or so that saying goes, but faith is about not seeing. Faith is believing because God said so and he never lies. It means a lot of work for me. I cannot allow my own life experience block my pathway to God. In my head I see a big room filled with boxes and bags of things that have happened to me and they are so stacked up that I cant see out of the room anymore. Just because I cant see God doesn't mean he isn't there. Its hard to do but I Just have to let go and believe. Let go of all the things I think I know and let God's word be my truth. How to do that? Well the way you learn to trust anyone, relationship, relationship, relationship. When you first meet someone you spend time with them and over that time and the things you surmount together builds trust and assurances. All I have to do is be in a constant relationship with God and let his words ring true.
Faithfulness is a big deal in the military. The service people have to be faithful to there service, wives and husbands have to be faithful to each other. In this sense I think it is more an action as well. We have to be true to our word, promises, and vows. We cant take the easy way out. Not only do we have to be there for our spouse but we have to be there and be trying our best all the time to stay true to what we have promised to be to each other. Marriage is a covenant with God and by being faithful to our spouse we are being faithful to God. And who doesn't want that?

Fruits of the spirit: Goodness

Goodness: Goodness is the next fruit. Goodness seems pretty straight forward to me. Dictonary.com says: the state or quality of being good or moral excellence: virtue. That is the first straight definition that I think goes with this fruit. Morality now days is a big deal. It's not always evident in our everyday lives. Morality is defined as, conformity to the rules of right conduct. The rules as you know are in the bible already so all we have to do is follow. Easier said than done. We are bombarded everyday with images, speech, and attitudes that just don't conform to our (or God's) rules of right conduct. I think this warrants a closer look at the 10 commandments God did give us.
The 10 Commandments(among other rules) were given to Moses directly from God. They are the basis of morality for many segments such as Jewish, Christian, Catholic religions to name a few. In order to keep your morality intact you have to follow this list of rules as follows: 1 You shall have no other God before me: God must be acknowledged as the one true God and his commandments must be up held. This forbids worship or giving glory to any other thing or God. Did you hear that I said "THING or God". That means to me I'm not to place ANYTHING before God. That could be: my husband, my money, my free time, my own selfish wants, anything! 2. Do not make yourself an idol: this also means not to make anything more important in your life than God but it's more than that I think. To me it simply means don't create anything that you worship like it is God. Now I want to be kind an not step on any toes but this commandment seems pretty straight forward to me. We are to use no symbol, sign, statue or picture to worship God. Also though I think it is a warning not to lose ourselves in something insubstantial, like a ritual. Our worship of God shouldn't be based on things we've always done, it should be based on our love and relationship with God himself. 3. You shall not take the Lord your God's name in vain: Now I have to admit this used to confuse my as a child but I think it was all in the wording. Now that I am looking it up I have to say it means, Hold God in reverence. Don't be disrespectful in speech to God or about God. Also Don't speak as if your words are from God if they aren't. Just basically don't lie about what God says. That's a big burden, not to mislead others in the name of God as well as a good reason to study your bible! 4. Remember the Sabbath by keeping it Holy: I think this is less about the actual day of Sunday and more about remembering to stop and worship. We spend most of our lives running around like crazy, and God specifically is telling you to take a day off and reflect on him. I think the "keeping it holy" part is important too. Keep your Sabbath holy by doing something different, don't let it be the same as any other day. Let it be God's day. Now I believe you should be in touch with God everyday of every week, but we need to break out and worship in a special way by avoiding anything unnecessary that takes your focus away from God. 5. Honor your father and mother: This is pretty straightforward, but in some of my reading they expanded on it by stating it also implied, "reverence and obedience to authority, especially father and mother." We are to respect all authority, and as it turns out, every mother is somebody's mother know what I'm saying! We should be respectful of anyone who is in authority, now that doesn't mean you have to agree with them just be respectful people. 6. You shall not murder: my bible notes say that means a premeditated or deliberate or unjustly. Now there is a big debate around here about what is Just and unjust. Murder is the word that decides it. The bible talks abut wars and killing, but God says do not MURDER. Murder in the dictionary says: the killing of another human being under conditions specifically covered in law. I agree with that, but it has to be based on God's laws. 7. You shall not commit adultery: This commandment I believe is not just the act of sexual intercourse while married or with a married partner but any unchaste thoughts, words or actions on our part. It is also noted that the sin of adultery is a sin committed directly against God, as it was him with whom the covenant of marriage was made. Now I bet that if I just said do not commit adultery many people would say, well I would never do that, but do they realize that impure thoughts are just as bad as actions? There would be a lot more guilty parties if everyone comprehended that to it's far reaching extent. I think that sexual thoughts, words and actions, outside of marriage can be put in the same category. 8. You shall not steal: there are thoughts that the original meaning behind this word steal was something more like kidnap but I really don't think it matters. It's more of a be lawful. Don't take anything that doesn't belong to you. There is no price range on that either people. It doesn't say don't take anything that is worth more than 5 dollars....it says don't steal! 9. You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor: Tell the truth. Don't let something someone else says cloud your judgment, and don't gossip either. If you don't know what is going on don't guess or speculate. 10. You shall not covet: That goes for anything. Don't want what someone else has because jealousy plants a seed of sin in your heart. It has been proven over and over again, no good can come of it.
Now I know God says there are other things to be mindful of, but this is a bare outline. I could talk about rules all night but I'm not here to do that. I don't even think of them as rules. The word RULES to me means something you are supposed to do but don't want to! I just don't see it that way with Gods rules. To honor God's rules is to honor God, Just as the fruit of Goodness honors him, and shows his presence in our lives. If you are truly God's child, you don't WANT to do anything against God. Trying to emulate Jesus Christ means we reject these things out right as ungodly. Here is another example. If my husband comes in the house and says "Woman do my laundry and then make me something to eat!" do you think that is going to happen? I know, I know the man is the head of the household and his wife is to be submissive to him. This isn't even the issue though, because I love my husband. The love I have for him turns my heart. Instead of slaving away, it's doing something nice for him, to make him feel good and know that I appreciate him and when I have that attitude it's always easier work too! Now we should let our love dictate to treat God in the same way. Don't trudge away crying about not being able to do what you want cause God says you cant. Do these things because it shows God that we appreciate and love him (as well as being good for sustaining our lives on earth). It's not a Job it's a privilege to show God's Goodness.

Fruits of the spirit: Kindness

Kindness: Kindness is the fifth fruit. Kindness is described as being indulgent, considerate, or helpful. The Greek root of the word kindness is chrestotes which is described as, gentleness in dealing with others or benevolence. I generally always thought of kindness just as going out of your way to do something nice for someone else without expecting anything in return. After all my reading though I have discovered it is more akin to patience, in fact the two are often said in the same breath. In truth it is not being nice but is often described as the ability to act for the welfare of those taxing your patience. It is also used quite frequently in the Greek to depict rulers and people in positions of power. As well as in the Bible when Paul uses it to describe God's kindness for people who are unsaved. Titus 3:4-5 "But when the kindness and love of God our savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy" and also of course Ephesians 2:7-9 "in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith, and this not from yourselves, it is a gift of God, not by works". Once again proving our God does what is best for us even without us deserving it. It is truly less about being nice and more about doing something for the good of someone no matter what they do.
In this understanding being nice defiantly isn't enough. We must strive to stretch our patients to the limits. Give until you cannot give anymore and then ask God to replenish you so you can give EVEN more. The thought I'm having from doing all of these fruits is, The fruits come from God. Everything I have read has said God encompasses all these qualities and has applied them to his relationship with us. In applying these fruits we are striving to become more like HIM. It also reminds me of Jesus and turning the other cheek. You know WWJD and all that. We must put good effort into treating other people the way we want to be treated (or the way God would treat them rather) no matter how they treat us or act . Now that sounds easy but with the caliber of people walking around now days it might take all your efforts to maintain. The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing it is VERY hard to be mean to or mad at a person who sincerely wants to be kind to you and continues to do so even in the face of criticism from you, scowls, growls and all. Take heart because there is only so long someone can continue to berate someone who refuses to fight back. Again we come back to the "deserving" word. There are a lot of people that are of the opinion that some people don't "deserve" our kindness. I would say that is wrong thinking. The fact that God has called us to be kind is one of the reasons. I have yet to find a place in the bible where it says "be kind only to those who deserve it" or "Be kind only to other Christians". Though some people would like to believe it's in there somewhere. Being kind isn't about deserving or not, its about God. You are kind to others for God, it's what he said to do and not only that but it will bring you closer to him. You have to be of the mind I'm going to do what God has commanded me to, whether someone else does it or not (or whether someone else is looking or not too but that's a different matter). When it comes to deserving, WE DON'T EVEN DESERVE IT, so how can we expect others to earn our kindness? Be kind because God has been kind with you and that's how you show the world what God's love looks like.
Once again this fruit requires practice. I mess it up all the time, but I know God will forgive me and I can try again. My problem is usually saying something before thinking it all the way through and is usually tied to my patients. Something that has helped me thus far is the thought " breath, think, respond". It can be used in many scenarios and it's effective when applied in this manner: Take a deep breath(quietly, you don't want your reaction to be seen as annoyance). Think about how what you are doing will be perceived (don't obsess) think about if it is the way God would want you to react and respond. You can even say a quick prayer like "God guide me". Then respond in the appropriate way. It works more often then not and hopefully the closer you get to God the quicker you will be with knowing what to say and do at appropriate times. Also I really think it is important to just plain do nice things for people once and awhile. It helps me focus on others and stop thinking about myself so much! It reminds others that you think about them, that God is working in you and that once again Christianity is about bringing people to Christ. Make sure you are doing things God has called you to do because those are the times it's really needed. Let God lead you and Remember God was kind to you first. Showing his kindness is a very obvious way to spread Gods truth that none of us is deserving, it's only through him that we can survive at all.

Fruits of the spirit: Patience

Patience: or longsuffering is the fourth fruit. Patience in the dictionary is quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care or diligence. I also got two Greek words in translation hupomone and makrothumia. Hupomone is translated as "under" hupo and mone "to remain". This not only means endurance but endurance with hope that resists weariness. Not only can you wait it out but you can wait it out with a smile. Makrothumia's translation is makros "long" and thumos "temper". This I thought was interesting the definition said it describes a person that has the opportunity to take revenge but exercises restraint. Hebrews 10:36 "You need to persevere(endurance) so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." We are to continue on against all odds. Not only are we to endure but we are to endure in a pleasant fashion. That would be where the hard part came in for me!

It sounds brave to say "trudge on" but in truth we are asked for more than trudging. On that note I believe that there are two kinds of patient. One is more like the Makrothumia for me. The chance to have revenge and not taking it. Not jumping to anger but tempering your reaction. When we are children we either don't know how to be patient or we know how but it's just easier to throw a fit and get it now. We don't like to wait for anything even as adults, I mean that is why fast food is getting faster and there are all sorts of products that go further in less time with less effort. That kind of impatience is something that can leak into your relationships and wreak havoc on your life. How about I just tell my husband where the Windex is without a sigh, even thought it has been in the same spot since we moved here 3 years ago?! What happened to that? Especially since 1Corintians 13:4 "love is patient" it's right there in the book! In my life I have a problem with just that. I find it pretty effortless to be patient with strangers and people I don't know very well. I have multitudes of compassion for others. When it comes to my own family and loved ones however, something changes. It's like a switch in my brain depending on who I'm dealing with. Hey they have been in this game with me for long enough to know what's up!!! In fact my lack of patience has often created tension in my own home. So after some introspection here is a rundown of why I think that is. I equate listening and retaining as equal to respect and care. In other words the more you respect and care for some one, the more hardily you listen and retain what they tell you. If you respect someone you listen when they talk because you value their opinion. As I came to this conclusion of myself I started to comically see myself as this Godfather-like figure seated in a room having people kiss my hand! Who am I that people should retain every bit of mind numbing inconsequential babble that escapes my mouth? Even more If I forget something that someone I care about said, do I hold myself to the same standard? Of course not, I have a million excuses for myself none of which include I just wasn't listening because I don't care. So why should I feel that way about others? Proverbs 16:32 "Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city." It is easy to be angry, at least for me anyway. What is hard is controlling my actions. Yeah maturity sucks, adults are actually expected to control themselves not only in public but even when you are at home in your pj's telling your husband for the 3rd time where you put his new pair of socks. God wants this for us. To display our Christianity by our patients we have to be longsuffering and in my case 1Thessalonians 5:14 "be patient with everyone."

The second kind of Patience I feel is Longsuffering. Longsuffering is what I would describe as Hupomone or endurance that resists weariness. This is the kind of patience we need to do God's work. The ability to suffer real hardships and endure with a smile. 2Corinthians 1:6 "If we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer." We are to have endurance for our duration in this world and struggle. If we have that divine patience we can continue not only to bring others to Christ, but to do that hard work with joy in our hearts and a song on our lips. Long illness, family separations, money troubles, everything happens for a reason. Sometimes God wants you to be patient and wait on him. Wait for his timing; wait for his go. We can't see the entire picture so we have to just keep going and doing as God has instructed no matter what happens. Good times, bad times, inbetween times. and for the times that are hard or seem too much to bear, not only can we bare them with this fruit, but we are to rise up and define ourselves and in whom we believe in those moments. Once again it all comes back to love. Love and have patients for others as God has love and patients for you. My new favorite verse 2 Peter 3:9 "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." We are to have patients with everyone because we receive ULTIMATE patients from God. We have the same mission as God, bring as many of his children home as possible. So what if one act of patients on your part could lead someone to Christ? Would you do it? Even if you didn't think that person deserved your patience? Is that person so undeserving of your patients, that they should die and not have eternal life with the father? It sounds extreme but think about it. Patience is a wonderful fruit with many threads leading in many different directions. I could probably continue for a lot longer but I have a soccer game to get to! GO HIPPOS!

Fruits of the spirit: Peace

Peace: Peace is the 3rd fruit. Peace is a state of tranquility or serenity. Peace embodies stillness. The Greek eirene is equivalent to the Hebrew shalom which means wholeness, completeness, or tranquility in the soul that is unaffected by the outward circumstances or pressures. Jesus is known as the "Prince of Peace". I take that to mean he is the bringer of wholeness. He fills the gap between us and God. John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." He died so we could have peace. Divine peace is very important in that we are told by Jesus not to be afraid.
This is what I really need right now. Strangely enough today I have been scattered and frustrated because Aidan's first soccer game is tomorrow and as per military life my husband just informed me yesterday that he will not be able to go because he has to teach land navigation tomorrow night. I have family as well that I know would love to be present but cant and I'd like to document this important even in Aidan's life. Well my camera does video but it's not really good quality and it only does a couple of minutes at a time. I have a miniDVD camera that could work but I am AFRAID it will wimp out on me because it hasn't been able to finalize disks. I am even having problems writing this now, though it's really what I want to do cause I just can't stop obsessing about it. Now why am I stressed? I just read a verse that clearly stated that I should not be afraid. I have been told before that it's not a God problem it's a faith problem. Do I believe that God can give me peace? Do I believe what the Bible says is true? That is a resounding YES! But if I really believed I wouldn't be stressed at all right because I would know that God has got me and nothing bad can happen? My only choice is to give it to God. I need to let go, because I know in my heart that while my brain is raging over this problem I'm drowning out the sound of God calling to me.
There are so many things in this life we cannot control. There are distractions at every turn, disappointments around every corner. That is the importance of staying focused on God. When he is your center there is no way for you to feel anything but peace. Will I die if I cant record Aidan's frist game? No. Will I die without Jesus and his peace? Yes. It's not a hard equation to understand. So as I continue in this frustrating day I am praying for Gods peace to envelop me. Calm my spirit, take my fear. Free me from this prison I have built up around me so I can live and thrive in YOUR light and peace. I pray the same thing for you today too. It doesn't make the bad stuff go away but somehow when you feel God close to you it feels smaller, more manageable. With God ANYTHING is possible. The camera thing might seem small but it's what I'm dealing with today and I have confidence that even if it was something bigger God would be there holding me up. That's my thoughts for today.
　
　

Fruits of the spirit: JOY

Joy: Joy is the second fruit. According to the dictionary, joy is an emotion. It's happiness caused by something exceptionally good. Philippians 1:4-5 "In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now" You can feel joy for fellowship with other believers, you can feel joy when you see your child smile at you. It is a feeling of elation. From some of my researching though, I discovered a source that said Joy or "Chara" is derived from the Greek word for "Grace". This brings a whole new meaning to some verses like, Nehemiah 8:10 "The joy of the Lord is your strength". Grace comes only from God so in that mindset joy is something we must ask for and receive from God. It is divine and not a human-based emotion at all. It is perhaps Holy spirit given and flourishes best in hard times. When only God's Grace can save you he sends you joy. Or God is the ultimate giver of joy.
What this means to me is that not only am I to display and feel joy to reflect God's grace but to ask God for his divine joy. So especially if I don't feel joyful, God can give me that. I can ask God for joy that my husband is home at 8:00pm instead of being upset he missed dinner and nearly everything else that went on that day. I can ask God for joy in my heart that my son only had to be asked to get ready for bed twice instead of three times today. I can ask for joy to show my friend, who is having troubles with her car while her husband is far away in Afghanistan and help her to smile in trying times.

I think that joy especially in the face of adversity is a great Christian example to display. I always find that the people that can travel through the most disparaging situations with joy in their heart remind me that I have so much to thank God for. It's a conviction for me because I have a tendency to worry. How good it feels to know I can ask for God to take my worry and replace it with joy, and by his grace I have been saved through faith, not of myself but as a gift from God.


I also feel that of course this means to me there is no true joy without God. If he is the originator and the giver than without him joy would not be possible. That by being close to him, praying, being in his word I can experience his grace and joy which far surpasses anything on earth. If his grace is the only thing that brings true joy than I am even better off for it than I knew before. For how much greater must it be to experience it from the originator? If the movie was good how much better must the book be right?!

Fruits of the spirit: LOVE

      The fruits of the spirit are the attributes of any true Christian and a lot of the principles translate directly to Military life. there are those who think they cant be military and strong Christians at the same time I disagree. also I think being military , active or spouse, can be a great way to display your Christianity and be good examples, eventually bringing others to Christ. I am writing this not only for others to read and intact but also because writing helps me think things out. I thought over the next couple of days I would put this together to help me, and perhaps others, act out these fruits in my own life. I hope it inspires self reflection and curiosity in How God's principles can affect your life no matter who you are.
     Love: love is the first fruit. Love is what God is all about. Jesus was an example of Gods love for us. and displaying God's love is a great way to invigorate your marriage and all other relationships as well as making you a stand out in a, "hey there is something different about that person" ,way that might eventually, hopefully, bring others to Christ.

1Corinthians: 4-8 " Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts. always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

    
    This fruit is most readily applicable to military life I believe. When your spouse is scattered from work, or preoccupied, it is easy to resent and be angry. It's easy to blame the military for your separation or keep tabs on your partners mistakes. It's easy to lose hope in ever having an ordinary life. As a spouse of an active duty marine I find it easy to resent, especially, this elusive "downtime" that military personal seem to require to transition from work to home. These things build up and spill out in selfish self-seeking behavior. The question is, since when is the easy way the right way?

I am a believer that EVERYTHING should be done in love. In military life there is separation which is a breeding ground for envy, and distrust. By embracing this biblical principle you can sooth a lot of hurt before it begins. Always look upon your spouse with kindness, trust them to do the right thing. It sounds easy to say "just love" but it is not always so. Especially when one of you does make a mistake. but remember love is no keeper of wrong doing. Love is a verb not a feeling. It is something you have to work to maintain because your spirit wants to be selfish. It wants to think only of itself, which is the opposite of love.

      On the outside it is important to love your military family (others in similar situations) too. Helping out when someone spouse is on deployment, reassuring and comforting friends and spouses. Just generally being there for others. YOU are not the only one going through something hard. The military often has confidence boosters that can convince some that because they are part of a certain group or sub group ie...infantry vs. POG or enlisted vs. officer...that they are better than others. The truth is we are all the same we just have different jobs to do. We all miss our spouse when we are apart whether we are separated a year or just a couple of weeks. To be a good example of God's love treat everyone with respect because we are all in the same boat. There are a lot of military spouses that seek to disparage other families or spouses. Don't fall into that trap because gossip isn't a product of love and it bares only ugly fruit.

     I know for a fact that some days you wake up less than hopeful, But the more you intact these principles the easier it will be to maintain. Always work to be patient and kind, be hopeful even if you don't feel that way because doing is feeling and the longer you inject these into your life the easier and closer they will seem. Most of all you must act out love whether you feel your spouse deserves it or not, because that is your Job. It's not a question of deserving, it's a question of love. You do these things because you Love: not because of anything the other person is doing, and you do it for the sake of love, not for thrills, praise or even a thank you. These things can be a great example to the outside world that Christ is working in you as well as a good example to your spouse.